lzozlzzzzo da GBFM dont no online datetz as A) i have not eneouch cockeasz to handaled all da psuusysys pusysys pusysysy dat come my way in real life in da coffee shopd shich i call starfuckszx as da GBFM is da fuckstatr in da coffe shop lzlzozo beoyenend faacebook and buttcobook and assbook lzlzozl and 2) der is too much risk dat her picturez was taken when she was hotter, younger tighter thirty pounds lighter dureing the commencnemnt of her massive cock carosuslel crusade and bountiful buttcocking battlez zzoozoz so da GBFM letsz da betasz pay da oldsnatch.com datng feez to look @ a chix pre-bernankifed photoso zlzozlzoozozoz
but here woudld be my profielz if da GBFM did onlinez date: lzozoz
GBFM SEEKSZ TIGTHT PUSYSYSYIZYOSUSOUSSIUOJZOZzlzlzlzlzoz
TITLE: LOTSAS COCKAS 4U 2 serve ur ginatinglelzlzol but not buttztingzlzlzolzoz
“my name is da gbfm of worldwide fame and renown. i don’t buttcockz cause my cockas too big and ur anus (not da planet uranus lzozzlz) is likely too small, unless u have been buttcocked many timez, in which case you have been bernnakififed and deosuled & ur anus IS likely big as da planet URANUS lzozozo and i don’t no waannna gina cock you no more as u are proabably as a big a pain in da ass as da pain in uranus ass from all da buttccokingz during your cock carsoule crusisidng days of whorey glory zlzlzoozo.
my ideaz of an idealsz date is to talk about da GREAT BOOKZ FOR MENZ which menasz dat u shut up and da GBFM doesz all da talkingz cause we know womenz never read homer’s iliad nor odyssey notr bible on their own (Except dey be fmeinists frankfurt schools deocntsructing da great books instead of respecting da GBFM’s frankfurter in der mouth lzoozlzoz), but womenz only readz vampire gina-tingly butt-tingly crap like twilight and julia prostsititute roberts book eat, prey, butthext”
even dough my last seneveenteen girlz complained dat da GBFM is soooo complicated, my ruels rulez arez simple:
bring da movbiez = lostas cokas 4u
bring no movies = no cockasz 4u
P.S. and please pelasez please i beg of you do not waste da GBFM’s precious itme. time. pleasez post up-tod-ate picture of you TODAY! do NOT post pictures of you when you were younger hotter tighter and fifty pounds lighter back in da day when you were givingz it up for free 2 all da buttccokerz in your bernkifiing dorm of student debt and anal debaucheyr lzlzoz as da debt was augmented in sectrieve meethingsz of da fed and da nauth violted in sectrely taped buttcheidnt sessionz zlzl, and pretending dat because you were once hot da GBFM now owes u moneysz to get down on what you gave away for free before u contrtced dat STD. lzozolzolzoo
i like to travel, and we can travel togethers. i will travel form da bedroom to da couch to play grand theft autoz, while youwill travel from da bed to da kitchen to make da GBFM a morning omelelete with lotssa cheddar cheese but not form between your kness zlzlozlzlo
if u are thirty and have had ur fun and r looking to “get serious,” then please get serious! da gbfm ain’t no backcup beta nor da last branch you can grab as you fall from da tree of your sexual peak in your early twentietsz which you wasted on lsostas cockas riding da cock carousleuesz. and now u see da GBFM’s massive lotsas cockas and mistake it for a thick tree branch u can grab on just beofree you hit da ground of eterna spinterhood zlozlzolzolzo causez da gbfm don’t give no cockasz to dose dat have “had their fun,” bt only does fresh young hot tight tights who r having funz zlozozoz
when you comtact me please include:
how many pounds u have gained since your profile picture was taken (rounded to nearest tens of poundsz lzozlzl).
\how many timez you have been bernnakified via:
how many cockasz u have taken in da buttholzizo since your profile picture was taken.
how many pounds u have *REALLY* gained since your profile picture was taken.
how many cockasz u have taken in da ginazizo since your profile picture was taken.
how many cockasz u have taken in da mouthollzizo since your profile picture was takenz.
i know dat you wills undertted your bernifiaction numbers by a factor of 5 or more in da same way da fed undesrsrtated inflationz, so i have my eocnomistsz grad stdudnets muiltiply your ansers by 5 lzoozozoz so if you sayou have been bernankkekified 10 timesz we will know it was at least fifty and proebeleeby more zlzoozozoz u do da mathz lzozoz
da gbfm looks forwards to meetingz youz and may r luvz last 4eever or at leats until da gbfm has cumed zlzlzloz sploododeged zlzlzlozo whichever cumsz firts zlzlzolzozozlzoz
RELIGION: Chruchcianz, as I beelieve dat JEuss will frogive forgive you and ur hot sister for our threesomsznz lzlzlzlzlzo & u will be made whoel and good as new and can still mary a beta providerz and prey to jesus 2 heal heal ur sore buttholiolozlz and bring a good man ur wya zlzozlolzo
